Misery Business
by NarutoAngel
Summary: Things happen because they should. No matter how unfair it is. Especially when it comes to love. AU. Naruto/Saint Seiya crossover with Chibi Vampire themes.
1. Unwanted Attractions

**Disclaimer: Don't own nothing here so don't even ask. **

"_Those who break the rules and regulation are called trash. But those who don't care about their companions are even worse trash -_** Uchiha Obito**

It had been a bad day from the start. His alarm didn't go off, he was late getting to school, had detention with that scary sensei Ibiki, and had to deal with more crap than usual from the teme Sasuke. It was barely 8:30 and he was already wanting to go home.

Yep, Uzumaki Naruto was not in a good mood.

"Alright people. Shut up and listen. We got a new student transferring today," Ibiki announced. Immediately the class went silent and paid attention. Nodding in satisfaction, the scarred man turned to his left and motioned for the person waiting outside to come in.

Facing forward, Naruto gave a gulp, as suddenly his heart rate increased and his gums tingled. _'Wha-what!'_

"Everyone, this is Shun. You better treat him good or you'll have to deal with me. Got it?"

"Uh, hello everyone," the remarkably pretty boy with green hair and soft dark eyes said nervously.

"Sit next to Naruto. That's the dumb blonde over there," Ibiki told the boy.

Shun obeyed and sat next to the hyper venting boy, turning to the him with a smile. "Hello, I'm Shun," he greeted. "I hope we can become friends, Naruto-san."

Naruto shot up in his seat and ran, yelling, "NURSE'S OFFICE!" behind him, running despite Ibiki's demands and threats for him to get back here. All he really was paying attention to were the unwanted feelings in his chest and the funny desires going through his head.

**---**

Naruto lived in an old mansion on top of a hill that oversaw the city. Though old and a bit rundown, it was in perfect condition and only has a few leaks here and there. Of course there was the fact that the second person beside himself who lived there had a barrier surrounding it.

The blonde ran past this barrier, into the house and downstairs towards the basement. Though it was pitch dark, Naruto's blue eyes began to glow eerily as they navigated through the darkness. Though they didn't help him when he tripped down the stairs, landing on his head with his back against the crackling wall.

"You know, Naruto-kun," a cranky voice said from somewhere in the room. "If you wanted to wake me up, you only needed to call out my name. Not fall down the stairs like a complete douche."

"It's not like I meant to fall!" Naruto growled, straightening to a sitting position, glaring at the amused and sleepy red eyes watching him. "Besides, you wouldn't wake up even if I do call your name, Paramour! Look, as much as it's fun to do, I didn't come to wake you early just to argue. Something really weird happened to me today!"

"Oh?" Yawning, the woman lifted the lid off fully, letting the top fall on the floor. "Any weirder than the usual?"

"Shut up! This is serious!" he yelled at the nonchalant vampire. "I… I… I started feeling for a guy!"

"And? So what? You're gay. It doesn't matter cause I'm not going to judge you. I'm pro-choice and crap like that. Now go away," Paramour turned to the side.

"No! That isn't it!" He grabbed onto her shoulders, shaking her furiously. "I'm not gay! I'm in love with Sakura, Sakura! And besides, this was totally weird. I actually wanted to bite the guy, not sleep with him!"

Paramour opened her eyes wide and grabbed him, stretching his mouth wide to look inside. Ignoring his grunts of distress as she searched inside intently.

"Wa a ya woing?" he demanded, struggling to move away.

"No way," she said breathlessly and proceeded to hug the living daylights out of him. "Naruto-kun, it's happen! It's finally happen!"

"What happen?" he grunted, growing a bit faint under the tightness of her arms.

"It's finally happen!" Paramour smiled, petting his blonde locks. Pulling him away to see him fully, she asked, "So tell me. Any changes? Does the sun light hurt you? Oh! What's your preference?"

"What the hell are you talking about!"

"Oh, Minato-sama and Kushina-sama would be so proud if they were alive to see this," she cooed happily. "At last, their baby boy has awakened as a vampire." Seeing his utterly confused face, she explained. "You see, vampire children are able to withstand sunlight, taste, and all _ningen_ stuff until a certain age when they get their first preference. You know, their taste in blood. There's the taste of a liar, taste of happiness, stuff like that. Mine is hatred. So, so, so, what is it?"

"How should I know, when I just got it right now," Naruto pointed out, rubbing his sore sides. "So what? Now I'm a vampire? Does this mean I finally get to transfer out of school?" he asked excitedly.

"Well, can you still withstand sunlight?"

He thought about it. "Yeah, I guess. What about it?"

"Then you'll continue to stay in school. Ah, ah! Don't argue with me, Naruto," Paramour cut him off. "It's the rule binding _all _of the vampire families. 'If your kid can stand the light, they'll stay in the human world.' Don't blame me. It's all that old coot's fault. So until you get nauseous or get burn by the sun's rays, I'd say your transformation is just beginning."

"Kuso!" Naruto pouted, hoping that he would at least surpass Sasuke in this. It looked like the black haired vampire had already his preference. And also he had hoped he no longer had to go to that hellhole and face the new kid. Especially if he starts salivating all over him.

"Quit whining!" Paramour snapped, getting out of the coffin. "Since I'm awake now, might as well start making breakfast. Or in you case, dinner." She went up the stairs, yawning and stretching.

Naruto followed, though at a slower pace. He didn't really get any of these vampire customs. Since his parents both died on the night he was born, Naruto hadn't really had the chance to fully experience what it was like to live as a vampire. Living with the outcast Paramour had really been his first experience at what it was like to be a bloodsucker. Albeit a poor bloodsucker but a bloodsucker nonetheless. Living with the vampire, he only so far learned the basics and hadn't really gone to the vampire's history.

So all this info about blood preference was new to him. Though it came as a relief. That meant he wasn't gay and that it was normal. Right?

"Ano, Paramour?"

"Hmm?"

They were in the kitchen, preparing the pasta for lasagna. The meat was cooking on the stove next to the pot of water being boiled for their tea.

"It's… normal to sometimes react to someone of the same sex, right?" he asked, nervous. "You know, like me vamping out to the new kid?"

"Yeah," she replied, tossing the pasta into the pan and began to spread it. "Blood is blood, as far as your body's are concerned. Consider my taste in blood. I like the taste of hate, which occurs in everybody, regardless of gender. Sometimes the urge is so strong it's hard to resist. So I just react, biting whomever it is. Really, there's nothing wrong with it. It's all up to the vampire in the end, whether or not you want to bite this person or not."

"Good," Naruto sighed in relief. "Though, seriously, I'm not gay." He glared at the giggling vampire.

After a while, the blonde asked again, "What sort of blood did my parents liked?"

"Well," Paramour took a moment to remember, "Minato-sama liked the blood of misfortune and Kushina-sama liked the blood of loneliness." She sighed. "Really if you're that worried about it, we'll go out tomorrow. Mingle with the crowds until you get the same reaction. Then we'll follow them around a bit and find out your preference. Sounds good?"

Naruto moaned. "But I still have to go to school tomorrow!"


	2. Paper cut

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

"_**My one regret in life is that I am not someone else." - Woody Allen**_

The smell of narcotics and chemicals stung her nose as she slipped inside the hospital room. Visiting hours were long over, so the well kept living area was shrouded in darkness. The visitor made her way to the closed curtain and opened it wide, revealing the full moon night.

Paramour brought her small bouquet of flowers, pathetically small compared to the other more grandeur ones, on the table next to the I.V. stand. She fondly looked down at the patient, a beautiful white-skinned woman with long black hair framing her hear-shaped face. She pushed some strands from the high forehead, her features painfully similar to the comatose vampire.

Yes, vampire. It was awfully strange for the undead to have one of their own within a human hospital. Even more strange for an undead to be in such a state. Nevertheless, money solved any problems and ensured that the female vampire comfort in her self-endued sleep. Along with elite Nosferatu guards kept any intruder from entering.

The only reason why Paramour was here in this room was due to a secret power, one that made her different from the rest of the vampires. Now, Naruto would be sharing that power, as soon as he awakens, that is.

The name of her teenage charge reminded her of the purpose for this visit. She smiled down at the lovely vampire and greeted softly in a whisper, "Good evening, Mikoto-san. It's me, Paramour-chan, your student."

If she recognized the name, or remember any of her past position as a teacher, Mikoto gave no sign. She continued to laid unmoving on the bed, the monitors attached to her keeping track of her vital signs with constant beeps.

Undeterred, however, the young woman continued the one sided conversation. "Well, it's been a long time. Sorry I couldn't visit as often as I promised, but it's been hell these past few years. Trying job after job, to raise money to finish the mortgage off the house you gave me. Gave us. Now that I've been cut off from the family and stuff." She gave a wry chuckle. "Well, anyway, enough about me and the past. Guess what? It looks like all of our fears were for nothing. Naruto is finally coming into his heritage as a vampire. That's right. Minato and Kushina's child has finally began his descent to our world. It has been albeit slow one but I know he'll be as great as his father was. Or maybe he'll take after his mother…?"

Paramour paused, looking down at her face for any reaction, for any contribution to the conversation. But there was not a word, nor a sign that she even heard. It made her eyes tingle with forbidden tears, bitter one brought by feelings of abandonment. She quickly wiped them away, determined to stay strong.

If Mikoto-san wished to stay in this state for all of eternity, so be it. Paramour was prepared to watch over her.

"Paramour, why are you here?'

She stiffened and instantly went cold. "What business is yours, Itachi-sama?" she asked a bit sourly, refusing to meet the other visitor's eyes.

"Everything. After all, this is my mother's room," the man, Itachi, pointed out.

That jolted her and a horrid feeling went through her body, but not enough to make her back down. Instead, she turned, face to face with the man most feared in their society. The cruelest vampire in existence, Itachi Uchiha. But for some reason, he refuse to show that side of himself to her, as though the cast off wasn't good enough to witness his true nature.

It irked her to no end.

"I know that," she responded, "and I know she was close to me as a mother as well."

His eyes narrowed at that. They were beautiful, a glowing red the exact color of blood, a beacon of light within their dark world.

Paramour flashed her own eyes, a darker shade of red that was dull in comparison, in defiance. But she got up to leave anyway, her task already had been completed whether Mikoto heard or not.

Itachi gave no reply, did not watch her pass by him to the exit. But it felt like he was staring at her all the same, waiting for a weakness, a chance to swoop down and finish what the elders started.

"It would be wise if you do not come again," he warned her when she reached the door. "Lest the next time it be one of them."

"And it would be wiser for you to keep your mouth shut," she snide in return, glaring at his back. "I'm not afraid of them. I'm no longer that little girl who was ways afraid of meeting those men. I'll be back, and the time after that, and the time after that. You cant keep my own mother from me, Itachi-sama, even if she wasn't the one who bore me, Itachi-sama. After all, we're in this business together."

"Ah yes," she heard him say as he left. "The Misery Business."

--

By the end of first period, Naruto was close to ditching school. To say he was nervous was an understatement. He was so damn close to jumping the new transfer student it was not even funny. And it was a fucking shame that he didn't know what his preference was. Paramour had said it would be much easier if they knew. That way, they could make sure he didn't go biting every person he got a reaction to.

It was a good plan, but it didn't include the crazed minds of his teachers. In revenge for running out of class yesterday, Ibiki had made Naruto partners with Shun, expecting him to keep the boy in par to what they were studying now.

_Ba-dump… Ba-dump…_

_Come on, _Naruto placed his hand over his erratic heart. _Calm down. He's not even a hot girl! Okay, he has the looks of one but still!_

"Ano, Naruto-san?" Shun placed the book in front of him. "Could you explain the equation again?"

"Uh, yeah." The blonde swallowed and read over the examples in the book, proceeding to teach it to the green haired boy. It was hard, but he managed, much to his relief. At least his fangs weren't too noticeable.

He hoped.

"Ah, thank you, Naruto-san," Shun told him with a smile.

"Uh, yeah. N-no problem," Naruto returned, eyebrow slightly twitching as he suppressed the urge once again.

He could feel it. With every beat of the boy's heart, he could literally feel the blood flowing, running through every vein in the boy's body. It made his mouth salivate and his fangs itch, wanting so badly to plunge his teeth in the pale neck, to drink that healthy blood of his.

But he couldn't. This was not seen in usual human society. Heck, he barely fit in it as it was. Though not a total loser, Naruto was no jock. He was more of the rebel, but less cooler than Gaara so to speak.

That reminded him that he had no knowledge of the vampire society. Besides the passing glances between him and that teme Sasuke.

Hopefully, Paramour would fill him later. She did lived with some higher ups before. And she did have some close relationships with his family after all.

"Oh! The book gave me a paper cut." Shun held up his finger, revealing the welt that began to pour blood.

_Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump!_

"Teacher, may I go to the nurse's off-" He began to ask, being cut off as someone held his hand. He turned, seeing it was Naruto who had a strange look in his azure eyes. "Na…ruto…san?" Shun watched, oddly transfixed as the blonde boy open his mouth and leisurely began to lick the blood with his tongue.

The taste of it, the smell, jogged him back to reality. Naruto stared, horrified, into the dark eyes of Shun, who watched him with questions, questions he could not answer.

For the second time that week, he ran out of class, regardless of Ibiki's angry yelling.

--

"You're home early."

Paramour wiped the last flecks of water from her long dark hair, staring at the blonde boy in front of her who was currently wallowing in self pity.

Naruto gave a moan, confirming her suspicions on his state of mind.

"Ah gee. What happened now?" she asked him, crouching down before him. When he continue to make incomprehensible noises, she realized the worst. "Did you bite him?"

"Paper cut," he finally said. "I licked the blood off."

She sighed, then asked him, "What did he tasted like? Or at least, describe what did you felt?"

"I don't really know," Naruto admitted. "It was so… sweet. Yet it tasted so much like… we… like air I guess."

"Like air?" Paramour repeated.

"Yeah, it's just… hard to explain. I don't even know." He sighed, dropping his head between his knees. "I'm sorry, Paramour. I'm not much help."

"No. It is enough," she told him, smiling. She patted his head fondly. "I can get a somewhat accurate confirmation on your preference with that. For now, get dress. We're going somewhere."

As Naruto went to do as she asked, albeit at a really _slooooow_ pace, Paramour finished drying her hair before running a comb through the tresses. Though extremely vague his description was, she was sure she could figure it out. She'll start on it later tonight, after this task was done,

For now, it was time to go hunting and to teach Naruto what was like to be one of their kind. Coming down, Naruto had changed from his school uniform to casual clothes consisting of denim jeans and a band's T-shirt.

"Okay, I'm ready," he said, slipping on his Converse shoes.

Paramour laughed. "As a human you are," she pointed out. "But you'll do."

"What do you mean as 'a human' ?" he asked when she passed by him.

She only smiled. "You'll see."

Meaning he had to wait when they got there. Naruto sighed, but followed the vampire out of the house and into the twilight.

The house was sloped on top of a hill, protected by Paramour's own magical barrier. They passed through it, the properties that formed it gave a tingling feeling. Though unseen on the outside, the contrast was striking. What had been twilight turned quickly into late afternoon. Paramour gave a visible wince as the sun touched her.

"Is this okay?" Naruto asked, looking at her in clear alarm. "I mean, isn't the sun suppose to burn you?"

She smiled and held up the umbrella he had seen her take. "This is your first lesson," she announced. "I was going to save it until later but now that you have had a taste of blood, it'll start showing soon."

"What?" the blonde wondered.

"Your vampire form," she replied. "The first rule I should have told you is this : once you have had your first drink - that is, blood from the neck - you will no longer be able to live within the land of day. You will finally become one of us. We're going to withdraw you from the school and your true tutorage would begin the following year. However, since you're only beginning the descent to being a bloodsucker, the sun will not harm you. Therefore, it is time to teach how to survive in it. Like so." She opened the umbrella and though she looked remarkably better, Naruto could tell it still was not enough.

"We can wear multiple clothing or use an umbrella like so. Or we could use magic to give a temporary shield against it. But when we do, well…"

Naruto watched as suddenly Paramour phased through him. It was like his eyes had become unfocused the moment he saw her, causing him to blink and rub them.

"It distracts the human from really focusing on us long enough. But it also makes them careless."

"Huh." He blinked his eyes one more time, satisfied that they were fine again. "So every time a human thinks they see something, it's a vampire?"

"Most of the time," she nodded. "Or they are just seeing things."

"Ah."

"Ready?" she asked, giving him more time to recuperate his eyes.

"To where?" Naruto looked at her, a bit confused. Was the lesson over?

"Shopping," Paramour replied and scolded his horrified expression. "Hey! Don't make that face. Or do you _want_ to be out of ramen?"

"Okay, okay," the blonde said, defeated and followed her down the hill.


	3. Attack

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Saint Seiya.**

**A/N: I apologize to all my readers for the long and horrible wait. Unfortunately, my computer has decided to go into early retirement and so until I get a new computer updates will be slow (even more than usual) for all of my stories. No, I haven't stopped writing or anything of the sort. In fact, I'm fill with a bunch of new ideas. Sadly, though, my computer doesn't give a shit.**

"_Do you believe in real evil?" - __**Evernight**_

"Him?"

"No."

"What about her?"

"No."

"Her?"

"No…"

"Him then?"

"NO! FOR THE LAST TIME, PARAMOUR, NO!" Naruto raised his hands up in the air in a sign of defeat. "I FEEL NOTHING FOR ANY OF THEM!"

"Okay, okay. Jeeze, I'm only trying to help," Paramour sulked, crossing her arms. "Well, if you're not overwhelmed with any sort of bloodlust, then none of these people has your preference. Which brings us back to square one." She sighed and glanced at her watch. "I have to go to work soon. Let's go home. There's nothing left for us to do here."

"What about you?" Naruto asked as they began to leave the club district. It had been Paramour's grand idea to pass by the clubs in case they spotted or passed by someone with Naruto's preference, with no such luck. They've done this for three nights already and be was beginning to worry.

The vampire already looked frail enough; now she appeared like glass, broken at a single careless touch.

Paramour, however, waved away his concerns. "I'll feed on the way. You're not ready to witness _that _yet," she told him with a smile. Though she felt some tingles in where hate existed in the smallest amounts among the party-goers, she did not need the blood desperately. She could wait.

They walked home under the dime lighting of the street lamps, silent as they each thought about their little predicament. Well, Naruto's predicament. Paramour still thought it was too dang funny.

"Lighten up, Naru. It's not like you're lusting after an ugly guy. From what you tell me, he could definitely pass for a girl." With a wicked smile, she added, "Why not bring him over? I could give him a makeover. With the right clothes and maybe some implants, I could make him into your dream girl. Much better than that Sakura chick you keep telling me about."

"Go to hell!" Naruto cursed wearily. All this searching was bearing was him down. Add on to that the detention he keeps getting, dodging alone time with Shun, trying to ram Shun against the wall and bite him, he was ready to collapse.

"Hey." Paramour sent him a sweet smile. "Don't worry so much. Just because I couldn't figure it out doesn't mean no one else can. Tell you what, we'll go to the party that's being held this weekend and ask the big guy himself."

"Ask the ero-sennin? Sorry but I think I'll pass. I hate it how he comes on to you."

"I think it's flattering," the vampire said. "It shows that there are some out there who lusts after this homely figure of mine."

Homely? She had to be kidding. Paramour, though on the short side, barely reaching Naruto's shoulder, was really pretty. With a full bosom, curves in the right places and legs built to drive a man wild. Her hair resembled charcoal in its smoky dark color and her large eyes shifted from red to a deep burgundy at times. Homely didn't even match.

Naruto wasn't really intimidated by such beauty because he did not see her as a woman. More, actually, as the scatter-brained mother he wished he had. She was his best friend, and loved her to a fault. The vampire, he hoped, shared the same feelings.

"There's no way in hell that you're homely, Paramour," he told her seriously.

She smiled at him. "Thank you," she said, "but you'll change your mind once you've seen how a real vampire looks like."

---

She had a point, Naruto realized, trying to look his hardest as if he were actually working on the assignment. Both Sasuke teme and Gaara were unnaturally beautiful, as were many in the school. Stand the vampires next to the humans and you could practically see them glow brighter than them. It was probably that allure that drew the _ningen_ to them.

He stopped fake writing to look at the clock. Three-thirty. He had been in detention for nearly an hour. Great. He just hoped he had remembered to tell Paramour so she would worry.

She was certainly a much better parent than the old guy he had stayed with during his childhood.

Jiraiya was a powerful figure in both the human and vampire society. He was famous for his erotic novels and the information network he managed. Also, he had been one of the last students taught by the vampire king himself, Sarutobi Hiruzen. Along with having a lecherous personality, his was not the lifestyle to raise a young child, especially that of his own student, Minato.

Naruto, more or less, had been raised by the maids and the occasional bedmate who stayed longer than the rest. Jiraiya was a good man, but he was not fit to be a father, and so, when the boy turned nine, passed guardianship to the next of kin, who happened to be Paramour through some default in the family.

The blonde did see his godfather from time to time, but would rather not since he ogles every woman they came upon, which was mainly Paramour. He most definitely did like the old vampire to be checking out his mom.

He spent the rest of the hour half-asleep, thinking about nothing. The assignment had already been finished before he came to detention, so he didn't have to worry about Ibiki giving him beef over it.

Finally, the hour passed and Ibiki let Naruto's and the others go. "Don't forget you got a whole week left of this, Uzumaki," the stern teacher reminded the blonde.

As if he needed the reminder. "Yes sir," he said. "I'll be here." When Ibiki turned his back, Naruto childishly stuck his tongue out.

Outside the shadows had begun to take over, sending the school in a depression gloom. The sky was purple that faded into a dark blue, with a last burst of gold left as a memento by the sun.

Right about now, he thought, Paramour would be getting up. He hoped once again that he had remembered to tell her.

An alarm flared inside his body, as the streaks of gold finally disappeared in the sky. The night has fallen and everywhere, vampires would also be getting out of the coffin, ready to rule the world of night.

To hunt and feed.

A pulse went through him, as his fangs lengthened to fine, glistening points. What the hell is wrong with me? Naruto thought, almost giddy with hysteria. I'm vamping out and there's no one around-!

"Um, Naruto-san? I was wondering if we could talk."

Out of all the nights, the days, Shun chooses to act brashly like this. It was unbelievable. Sure Naruto might have been pushing things a little bit with all of the avoiding and running away, but had it been enough to guarantee a confrontation? He hadn't thought so and yet here the boy was, on a really bad night.

Naruto covered his mouth and kept his face turn away. They were alone in the courtyard, the janitor being somewhere else. However, he wasn't chancing it, would not expose himself if he could manage it. Luckily, the shadows were helping.

"What do you want?" he asked, his voice terribly muffled.

"I… I wanted to apologize," Shun said, looking uncomfortable. "I'm not sure what I did to horribly offend you, but I hope you can forgive my rudeness. I am sorry."

For a long moment, Naruto simply gawked. He had been the one horribly rude and Shun was apologizing? Gods, the kid was weird.

He waved it off with his free hand. "Don't apologize. It's got nothing to do with you. Now go." Hopefully, the guy would take a hint and leave. It was hard controlling this urge and even more painful to hold himself back, like if he had suffered a physical wound.

Sadly, the boy was dense. "Hey. Are you alright? Naruto-" He came close, so close.

Naruto jumped. He rammed Shun into the wall. The boy gave a grasp of pain and stared up at his attacker, about to demand what was his problem. Naruto didn't know what he saw in his face, but it must of have been terrifying, for Shun shut up, his dark eyes wide.

He _felt_ terrifying, panting with his mouth open, revealing his fangs and how they gleamed. His eyes were probably glowing with a fierce blue fire and suddenly Naruto was so hungry that he couldn't think straight.

There, in front of him, was his preference, flowing, pulsing in a large vein at the boy's pale throat.

Food. _Dinner._ His instincts drove him and he gentled his grip on Shun, tilting the boy's neck to the side.

"Na-Naruto-san!" Shun gasped, struggling in his grasp.

Naruto blinked and let him go. A burning sensation filled his chest as he stared, horrified at what he had been about to do. What a monster he had become.

Moving back, he shook his head in disbelief. "Shun. I-I," he swallowed, feeling his fangs rip the inside of his mouth as he did. _"I'm so sorry, Shun."_

Leaving the gasping boy behind, Naruto ran into the night.

---

Something had happened, something big and bad enough to make her charge so depressed. When Naruto pleaded a headache, Paramour let him ditch school and spend the day in bed. She lost sleep and precious energy but ignored it.

"If we're going to this party Saturday night," she told him softly. "We have to go to Shaina's tonight. But I could go alone if you're not feeling well."

Naruto stirred. "Nah, I'll go with you," he said, lifting himself up. "I have a feeling I might have to carry you back home."

She stuck her tongue out. "I'll have you know that I'm much stronger than I look," she said.

Naruto believed her.


End file.
